What can you do when your good isn't good enough?

Long time no see. Again. I'm sorry! So this post is really just a "what's up" 'cause really nothing amazing is up.
School's out and no one can ever forse me to study again if I don't want to but still you can find me in Torkkeli (The arts school of Helsinki) next year. As many of you might know I applied for Kallio (performing arts school) but apparently it's not enough that I've "graduated" from a theater school or academy or what ever you like to call it AND that I've basically wrote and directed a 30 minute long musical. Do I sound bitter? Maybe, I don't know. I was angry. Believe me, I really was. But then I thought that I'll go to Torkkeli and see if I want to apply to Kallio again next year, so that's that. But I'd like to congratulate my dear friend Michaela who finally got into Ypäjä's Horse Institude after applying there three times! You really deserve this, bud!

Congrats to my brother who made it through the matriculation examination with as less studying as possible. And then it's time for some materialism! I bought that dress for my brother's party and I also bought new shoes but I don't have a picture of them now 'cause I forgot so maybe some other time! And about that shirt. I had to borrow Laura money to get it and I really like it so thank you! It's already a bit dirty 'cause I've used it so much.. Then Michaela gave me new speakers and I love it 'cause my computer's sound system is crap and it's hard to even watch movies when you just don't hear anything! Now I can listen to music again, thank you Michaela! I got my mother to buy me a Film Journal as a "graduation gift" and I'm so happy about this because I'm such a movie geek, like really! I bought the Wreck This Journal my self just because it's fun, but there's really nothing much there yet.
Last weekend was Desucon, and I've been telling you about my not-so-big plans but I have to dissapoint you by saying that no, I didn't cosplay Darren, no I didn't cosplay Roxas either, yes I made the Captain America inspired outfit but it was nothing much really. But I did cosplay Matt from Death Note the last day even if I forgot my goggles home. We had a little photoshoot at the end of the day with Mello so here's one nice picture from there.

So the first two days I spend just being a dork and on Saturday I got to photograph Peetu and Henna and Tessa in their costumes and on Friday I photographed Mira just because I could. So here's some of that.

 

So. That's what's up. I've also been watching lots of Supernatural with Antrei and yesterday I saw the Avengers for the fifth time. I've been playing Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. I've been staying up late drawing Rennerson and sleeping a lot. I've been walking in Helsinki without any shoes on and I've been planning on doing hundredrs of things but done none of them. But so that I could do anything I first need to get my ass out of here so have a picture of Hilbo and Kai and have a nice summer!

title's lyrics from "Get it Right" from "Glee" by Lea Michele

I've got these habits that I cannot break

I know! I know! I've been the most innactive blogger once more but I can defend my self with the fact that I actually work nowadays and I've had some last school things to do. There's no way I can remember everything that's been going on, even if it's not much, but I do have some pictures so enjoy them instead!

w/ Tuomas and Santtu

I spent my May Day's Eve with my lovely classmates hanging out at Anni's baking and making food and fooling around in Kannelmäki.

On actual May Day I went to see my classmates to Suomenlinna and took a couple of pictures of Anni for my preview assigment for Torkkeli. I spent the whole night drawing this and in the end it turned out pretty good even if the sun was already shining by the time I got to bed.

I'm not too sure about the order of these pics but the main points are that
        -Antrei is suffering from pollen allergy AND flu so he look terrible.
        -Hilbo's new puppy Greta got home and she's adorable goofball.
        -I spilled coffee on my Sherlock Holmes bag and now it smells like coffee and I love it!
        -Santtu had birthday and I bought him two cakes, plus I still owe him bag of doughnuts.
        -My mum went to England and bought lots of lovely food. This all and also some Lemon Curd.
        -Santtu took a photo of himself through my eye.
So I guess that's pretty much it. I also went to see the Avengers for the third time with Hilbo and her dad and I still can't get over how awesome it is so if you STILL haven't seen it, go and watch it now! Oh and by the way, I had a presentation of Darren Criss yestarday in my music class. I got A so I guess that's good. I spent my night making this.

I've changed my plans for Desucon! I can't come up with any good casual!Roxas ideas so on Friday you can see me dressed in Captain America inspired outfit. Nothing like cosplay 'cause Desucon isn't a right place for Marvel stuff and Captain's outfit can be pretty ridiculous, but just like normal clothes with Captain America theme. We'll you'll see then! I've also been asked to cosplay female version of Hawkeye a.k.a. Clint Barton in Finncon and even if I don't like gender switching that much I just can't say no to that kind of offer! I still don't have any work in progress pictures or even good enough sketch to put here but I'll do it once something like that shows up.
Once again, I am terribly sorry for not posting anyhting and now I'm going to leave you once more. But this time I have even better explanation than any other time! You see I'm leaving to Berlin on Monday with my class. So this means Adios Amigos! I'll see you in a week!

from lookhb.com

title's lyrics from "Sins of my Youth" by Neon Trees

Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh

I woke up last Saturday and my every muscle was aching! I figured I was sick because I really felt like it so I cancelled everything I had planned for that day meaning Iita's birthday and sleepover with Hilbo. It kinda sucked but I really didn't feel like the best company at the moment and I didn't want to get anyone else sick. And staying home isn't really that bad because for me it means watching The Big Bang Theory and some movies and tumblr of course. Anyway, no matter how sick I am there's one person who doesn't mind me spending all day home with him.

"Brother dear, do you ever wonder if there's something wrong with us?" This picture is actually from my school's big christmas concert if you're wondering my dress or anything. Anyway, I spent my sick Saturday with Antrei and we finally got to play some more Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword and we actually completed it and I just have to say that it's a great game! Very Zelda-like meaning that you have to do thousands of things before you get to do the main point and then it appears that there's still more and more things you have to do and goats eat paper. But I liked it and it was beautiful and Link's face was priceless in this one scene so I though I'd share.

You might wonde what happens in the later pictue or at least I would wonder if I would have not been there to see and photogaph it. I don't really know if it's corect to say that Antrei is blowing an egg but that's what he's practically doing. I found this ridicilous and awesome so I couldn't resist takeing pics.
I also rewatched X-men: First Class on holiday and fell in love once again. Before I get too excited and start babbling about something no one wants to hear I'll just add here a picture of a great movie I found thanks to Michael Fassbender and IMDb. It's called Fish Tank and it was a little weird and slow but somehow I liked it. Also I'm shocked that Katie Jarvis doesn't have practically any other roles cause I really liked her as Mia, which is the main character. Anyway, now the picture!

I also saw King's Speech at last and I did like it.

So here are the clothes I told you about. I can now annouce that I am a proud owner of three Monki's tops. Ever since Michaela took me to Monki for the first time I've thought it's a pretty nice store but never before have I bought anything from there. But now I got a little too excited because I had money - not anymore - and summer is coming! And the store isn't as expensive as I thought. I mean of course it's not the cheapest and some "bigger" clothes could cost pretty must but those two tops were only 12 and 8 euros. The t-shirt was 25 euros so that's a bit more expensive but still.
Another thing I promised to post about was Desucon which is 8.-10.6. For the first day I'm planning on going as casual!Roxas. Roxas is simple and nice and I love my wig. I still don't know know about my outfit but probably something skate boy-ish like the last time.

Saturday me and Hilbo will be going as the beloved StarKids Darren Criss and Joey Richter. I'll be Darren and she'll be my Joey. We've done this too once before but we'll be doing different outfits. Nothing much, I've been thinking of a white v-neck t-shirt and maybe red hoodie. We'll see if I'm going to take my guitar with me or not. Might be hard cause I would like to take a skate board for Roxas and so. But we'll see about that then!

Last is Sunday and as I said I'll be Mello's Matt. She'll borrow me the whole costume but I need to grow my own hair for this and I still haven't decided which boots shall I take but that's not going to be a problem. I stole this picture from Mello's deviantart and that's why the editing is everything but 4123 but let's just go with that, you get the idea after all.

Now I'm afraid I haven't still seen the latest Glee episode "Big Brother" because it's so late here when it airs and I was at Mello's petting some dogs today so I'm going to watch it now and sleep all day at school tomorrow. But have do have this adorable picture of my best friend in a blue wig with her dog from today.

title's lyrics from "Your Call" by Secondhand Serenade

This is my idea of fun playing video games

Life without theater is nothing. Or that's how I feel, I have no idea what have I been doing for the last week. Monday and Tuesday were the last performances before this god damn two months long hiatus! I just miss it okay? Luckily tomorrow is some kind of briefing so at least I get to see my friends but still. It's not the same.

The gift my friends gave me after the show

So that's it for Kohina and Lokki for a while. On Wednesday we went to see a show called Kierre with our class. It was more like "modern theater" and yes it was cool but not the one I would pay for to see twice or anything. On Thursday I went out for a coffee with Santtu and then we did kind of a window shopping in One Way and Dressmann which was nice. Anyway, on Friday something actually happened!

That's right, The Hunger Games!

This is something I've been waiting for so long! I still haven't finished the last book but I've read the first two in English (which makes it so hard to read the Finnish translations.) and now that I don't have to read anything for school, I'm going to put all my focus on Mockingjay.
Now, if you haven't seen the movie The Hunger Games or read the book don't read this next part!

So this is my opinion about the movie. If we don't compare it to the book, it was a good movie. Well actually pretty good! Too much of Hollywood for me and I'm still pissed that it's R-12 or something like that. But anyway it was good, the actors were amazing! And I liked the camera work. But now if we compare it to the book there were some things that really bothered me. First of all why didn't Katniss' ear explode? I mean when she exploded the Career's food there was the voice which was cool but nothing happened to her ear! It's just that if you think about the second book, Katniss says she can hear better with that ear so what are you going to do now? Second, that freaking sleep syrup! I don't know if I need to say anything else about that. Then we have Cato's armor. The one he got when 12 got the medicine. There was no mention about it no anything. It just pissed me off! And the mutations, no comment that they were the already dead tributes, that was the most terrifying thing, you can't just ignore that! And I'll finish this whining with the fact that I did not like the ending. It sucked! I think it went too fast and they seemed too normal. Like everything was fine and they weren't traumatized or anything! And it went far too fast AND it left the image as if Katniss loved Peeta like that cause no! It's not that simple and gosh! Anyway. I'm sorry about this all whining cause in the end I liked it pretty much but it's juts some things that pissed me off.

Elevator with Karo, Onni, Aino, Diana and the other Aino should be there also.

So I didn't go to school that day but met with some friends from my Prometheus-camp. We ended up going to Coffee House in WTC and Onni bought me Cafe Mocha. After that we hanged out somewhere in the center od Helsinki and after that Onni came to my place. We ened up playing Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword with my brother Antrei which was also pretty nice. These two guys really work together! On Saturday the Fishclub came here and we watched a bunch of random movies. The Fishclub means Santtu, Laura and Otto and this time we watched some "Monthy Phyton", "Me and You and Everyone we know", "Yellow Submarine" and "Rocky Horror Picture Show". After they left my grandmother and my aunt came here and we ate and now I'm lying in my bed typing this.

And I'm listening to deadmau5. I really don't know where I got the idea first but now I feel like partying. Or just hanging out with some friends and playing video games. I really miss playing L.A. Noire and some Heavy Rain would be cool also. Yes, Mello, Michaela and Hilbo I'm talking to you!

Teenage Emo Ninja Turtles!

Also my hair sucks! Like really! It has grown out of it's shape and the colour has faded almost completly off. I would go to Hilbo and let her cut it, I would be okay with anything except this but I promised Mello to cosplay Matt in Desucon and I need to use my own hair so I may have to suffer with this until then. Well, she said she'd do something about it, thank god! So yeah, Desucon is coming and I still don't have my ticket but I do have costume for the last day and shared bed with Mello from a hotel room! I'm still not completly sure about my cosplays either than Matt but I was thinking of some casual!Roxas cause I'm proud of my wig but too lazy to make an official outfit. But we'll see about that. Here's still picture of both of these and if you'd like to see more of my cosplaysyou can find them from my cosplay related deviant art account which is SCREAMERno1

And now just one more thing. My friend Laura has been working on something and it's now almost finished. Actually I think it is finished but she said it's still in prgress.. Anyway if you please could check out her blog? I know it's not blogspot but still. Can you do this, for me?
Okay, I think that's all for today. Now, I'll go grab something to eat and then maybe I'll even sleep at some point. Bye everyone!

title's lyrics from "Video Games" by Lana Del Rey

I said, "I love you... good-bye"

So the Holidays are over and school will continue tomorrow. This means I'll be busier and more tired and won't post everyday. Well that was never my intention anyway but this all is just to get this started. My life won't be enough interesting anyway so that I could write about it everyday. But anyway. My holiday has been pretty nice at it felt longer than it actually was. Okay so here's some pictures of my holiday, what I've done and what has happened... Or something like that.

some of my most precious xmas presents

my brother made me a t-shirt. it says "stick with me"

yes, i've been on computer way too much

in a café with my dear friend Mello

at Michaela's, Hilbo bleaching Mello's hair

spent my new year's with Michaela, Mello and Hilbo

bought three new shirts, the purple one is Hilbo's

i've been drinking coffee.. like a lot

fell in love with nevershoutnever once again

more coffee, photographing and movies

Of course this is not all but I think there's no need to go find pictures of chinese food and pizza just because I've ate them and didn't take my camera with me back then. All of these pictures are not mine, once again, only those which have my watermark, 4123. The others are from deviantart, we♥it or tumblr. And I still want to say something about the pictures. In the first one; Tron and Transformers aren't my xmas presents. I borrowed these and five other movies from my friend Santtu some time ago and still haven't watched all of them. Anyway now I got to watch these two (and I liked them) and I'll return them hopefully tomorrow. So that's all about it.
Okay so as you can see, I've been watching movies lately. I've also been to movies which I hadn't done in a while. Now how ever I got to watch "New Year's Eve" with my friend Kiti. It was nice to watch but not such a spectacular even though Lea Michele starred and sang in it. I also got to watch Shrelock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. Me and Hilbo are such RDJ Sherloch fangirls and we're considering on cosplaying Sherlock and Watson so of course I had to go see that. We still don't know when are we going to cosplay this wonderful bromance but next time we'll see we'll decide who is playing who. I'm shorter than Hilbo so that's why my first thought was that I'll be Sherlock and she's Watson but she just reminds Sherlock so much that we still need to think about that. But I'll come back to it soon when we've talked more about this.

from we♥it

So today I went to movies with my class mates Santtu, Laura and Otto to watch 50/50. All I knew about it was that it was about a man who had a cancer and Joseph Gordon-Levitt was playing this man. It was enough. Gordon-Levitt is such a good actor and I have to say that cancer is kind of iteresting and terrifying at the same time. And terrifying it was! I mean it was really great movie and I do want to see it again but it was also touching and sad at least for me. Can't deny, cried a little at some point.

from we♥it

At the theater we ran in to my two old friends. Or actually Veera and Rauna were sitting right in front of us. It was nice chatting with them cause I hadn't seen either of them for like years. Reminded me that I have lots of old friends I should just see sometime. Maybe have some coffee with~

Anyway. My school starts at 8:00 AM tomorrow so I'd better go to sleep soon and I really can't think of anything to write about so I'll just leave this here and go to bed as if. Good night, everyone!

title's lyrics from "A Change of Seasons" by Dream Theater